Some moments in life are SO theatrical. Consider this exchange.
MOTHER: So what's this kid going to call me? [pause] I'd like him to call me Elizabeth.
SON: [shouts] NO WAY!
MOTHER: [put off] Why not? That's my name? What's he supposed to call me?
SON: [coy and soft] Grandma!
MOTHER: [hot under collar] NO WAY!
You get my drift.
Tunde and I had a discussion along these lines a while back and it made me think: Why shouldn't Jalen call me Grandma? Why did I react so negatively to the idea? And then, I remembered. Before I was married, I used to take my own mother everywhere - even to my local jazz club – and I used to introduce her as 'my mother'. One day a woman barked at me, 'doesn't she have a name?' I was really taken aback. Of course she had a name, but she was my mother and I wanted everyone to know that. I loved my mother. But she was right and after that I always introduced Mom as: 'this is my mother .... and added her name'.
I guess the reason Tunde wants his son to call me 'grandma' comes from the same deep love. He was nine years old when Mom died. They adored each other and I am not sure he has ever gotten over losing her. So, it's natural that he wants Jalen and I to have a similar relationship. Which is great, but I don't feel like 'A GRANDMA'.
And this begs the question then: what's in a name? Why do I call myself AdunniMama in this blog, anyway?
Adunni means 'the one we like' in the Yoruba culture of Western Nigeria, where Tunde's father came from. At least, that's what I was told when my mother-in-law gave me the name. I've never met the lady, but I've always felt a bond with her through this name. She has many grandsons, but she's never seen this one, so I think it's fitting for me to use this particular name as I enter the new stage of being a grandparent: her world, as it were.
In the old days names were very important and most cultures have developed special ceremonies to name their offspring.
I was named after my father's first wife, who died when my brother was born. I've always been very conscious of her presence in my life and I am sure that's because of the name. Why haven't I changed it? I actually have, when I officially anglicized it from the Hungarian Erzsébet, to Elizabeth, which is the English equivalent. I didn't change the name because of its meaning, but because I was fed up with people pronouncing it badly. So, I did not change my parent's intention in this regard. I think it was a question of respect.
According to the baby dictionaries Jalen is a new name with no special meaning. At first I found that very strange. But now that Jalen is developing his personality, it seems to fit perfectly. How can that be? I turned to the internet again and, while there are lots of suggestions as to what it was contracted from, the one I like best is that it's probably a variant of Galen, meaning serene or calm. Well, that explains it! On Skype that kid looks like his father was - serene and calm for a baby. Jalen - a perfect name for this tyke. Galen was also a famous Greek, who is regarded as the father of experimental medicine. No wonder I prefer that derivation.
